HOW TO SPOT A LEFTY MALE – A QUICK GUIDE 1️⃣ Ask him what the last joke in his lads’ WhatsApp group was. If he says: “I’m not in one” “I left it” “What’s a lads’ chat?” → Lefty. 2️⃣ Ask how much fuel his car takes. If he responds: “My Tesla doesn’t use petrol.” → Lefty. “My Prius isn’t a polluter.” → Lefty. “My bike doesn’t need fuel.” → Mega Lefty. Punch is acceptable. 3️⃣ Ask who his favourite comedian is. If he says “I don’t really like offensive humour” → Lefty. If he says James Corden… call for backup. 4️⃣ Ask what time he hits the gym. If he replies “I do Pilates with my partner” → Lefty. If he says “I’m more into mindfulness walks” → Confirmed Lefty. 5️⃣ Ask what he orders at the pub. If he proudly announces “alcohol-free IPA” → Lefty. If he asks whether they have “organic oat lager” → Send him back to Brighton. 6️⃣ Ask what he listens to on the drive to work. If he says “LBCs James O'Brian” → Lefty. If he says “Whatever my partner curates on Spotify” → Lefty. 7️⃣ Ask what he thinks about Top Gear. If he replies “I hate Clarkson” → Lefty. If he’s never watched it → Lefty who rides a bike. See answer 2. 8️⃣ Ask what he had for dinner last night. If he says “plant-based Bolognese” → Lefty. If he says “I don’t eat red meat for ethical reasons” → Lefty Level 100.
