I'd never approach any state agency for help. Your card is marked for life. Details will go straight onto a government database and get passed around state departments and then probably hacked. Friends, charities and always anonymous. I agree it shouldn't be that way, but it is. We really are just numbers. Our lives are data, commodities, to be traded, used and abused. Nothing is private once it goes onto a screen - which is its itself a symptom of a pathological society which does so much damage to people.
One of the most Elitist forums in the world? Lmao... I agree with your other sentiments though... As some one who was fined to fuck as a young man for doing no more than what I could afford to do, this shit angers me...
There is a horrible irony here. We are punished for road transgressions in order that the roads be made safer, and these punishments often come in the form of fines. In effect, the efforts to make roads safer have resulted in the loss of a 21-year-old man. Simplistic way of looking at it but in essence, it is true. Life can be so unfunny.
I had the 6th sense very close to where my main depot is, to turn around & speak to a young (20s) guy on a high motorway bridge. He was emotional as I stated "...your making me worried. Whatever it is, there is always better tomorrows..". And once I got to work, phoned police & asked them to go speak to him. On passing by again he was leaving & had a quick word with the police who attended & confirmed he had been having trouble & was feeling better. I live week to week, no fun no stability but the debt I've accrued over a year off work. Is finally coming to an end after 4-months hard continuous graft. This country is full of people who legally rob the poor, the richest in society who pay next too no tax & the current government need lynching for supporting ISIL/ISIS in Syria against a sovereign nation. All because some ill minded corporation wants to steal resources using a nations army. All under the guise of bullshit 'freedom & democracy'...lark I'm quite interested how the South african farmers get on seeing about moving to the region of Russian Federation lands by Turkey.
Glad you were able to help that guy. What does "I'm quite interested how the South african farmers get on seeing about moving to the region of Russian Federation lands by Turkey" refer to?
Very sad story, however I don’t need to hear of other peoples misery or tragedy to remind me how fortunate I am. Just me.
https://nsarchive2.gwu.edu//news/20010430/doc1.pdf This is the sort of trickery the uk government teached usa_fascist_regime shortly after ww2 ended. https://russia-insider.com/en/politics/will-russia-begin-accepting-boer-refugees/ri24108 https://www.rt.com/business/432375-russia-south-africa-farmers/ I forget how bbc ignores anything that the uk_bigots in power define as not necessary to talk about. The white south africans are been murdered in ever larger numbers. So are seeking refuge & a new mutually beneficial fresh start in Russia. A christian nation with a need for more english speaking people & even free land is been offered after 5-years residency & language tests. RIP 21yr old lad.
Wise words, if you can do it that way. A few years ago I was diagnosed with a life changing incurable illness. About two weeks later I got a letter from the DVLA revoking part of my license and telling me I need to reapply for it every 2 years. I was shocked. I thought my health records were private, but there was the hospital, firing off letters to the DVLA. Last time I was at the hospital, I asked the consultant why my license had been limited when I saw no reason that it should be. She agreed, and said I should ask for it to be put back to the way it was. Will get round to it sometime.
Some years ago, when my marriage really started to fall apart and long before I finally decided to pull the plug, grow a pair and move out on my wife and kids (last bit was the hardest thing I've ever done). I sought help from my GP for depression and received counselling. The ramifications of doing that caused so much grief due to data sharing, that despite, at later stages, suffering more of the same I just internalised and suffered in silence through some pretty dark times. There were some periods when I reckon I was close to breakdown, who knows what I would have done as a result. What I did finally realise is that if I had just continued down the same path leading a miserable life there would likely have been only one 'conclusion'. I've since started life 2.0 and things are now better beyond compare although there are still things to be sorted out and I'm seeing my children less than I would like (so is their mother TBH as they're teens ans are doing their own thing a lot of time). However, there is a bright light at the end of the tunnel which is getting ever closer. The systems in place stand to serve the powers at be and maybe protect us from ourselves in a minor way but with no consideration for the actual consequences that these system impose. I'm convinced that a lot of it is just legal ass covering rather than being for our benefit anyway. Everything is too linear, tick box lead and rigidly simplistic. Then reduce or remove the funding for most of it and it becomes even worse... I too saw the program that the OP mentioned, a sad case made far worse by the allowing of these debt recovery agencies to just treat all cases as a source of revenue rather than an individual person with issues that may need some consideration before using threatening behaviour. Though I do get that a more relaxed approach is open to abuse there should be a layer of protection or checking to ensure that either these people don't have access to such a line of credit in the first place or that they are handled more sympathetically when they can't repay the debt on schedule.
Stress can take many forms and in different ways and people deal with it in there own way ... im normally horizontal but ATM going through the mill a tad ... separated after 22 years 2 kids now 20 and 16 ... the last 10 years was a slog and i think only stayed together for the kids ... divorced since Sept this year the daughter didn't talk to me for 6 months she's 16 now and all's good the son is sound plus they both knew what was going on. Mum in her late 70's very active she was diagnosed with Parkinsons in Jan and its only taken till now that we have got the right help and medication to get her through whats going on. Dad now 78 again very active 2 4 stroke Vespa's a GT125 and a Ltd Edition 300 loves his bikes . He got Evans syndrome 3 years ago and a stroke we nearly lost him 3 times but he made it. Because of his stroke he was not confident on his bikes so he sold them that was a downer for him. This last year he has been feeling quite tired slow and lethargic and his legs have been hurting him . Been to the docs and in the end had a prescription but nothing changed it got worse. This bring us to last month. Really tired and really not himself so docs again this time he was send to the hospital for scans CT scans and they found a mass in his lung not being 100 sure what it was he had a biopsy it was found to be "C" fooking had the word !!! ok got a date for its removal 1st Aug ... ok good no spread bonus. Monday just gone he was sleeping all the time hardly with us so mum got a ambulance as she could not move his and he has fell a few times and he was back in ... so bloods taken all ok . Then got the news after another scan its spread to his brain ... to say devastated and very stressed is a understatement. Waiting as i type for news of what and can they do anything ... he is my best mate and dad and ATM im freeking lost .... As Duckbird says its good to talk and to type dont bottle it up it makes things worse , right im in the office my key board is wet and the screens a blurr ... fooking life !!!
I can understand all your going through but my words won’t mean anything just yet but I’m sending you a big hug and thoughts Take it moment by moment and spend as much time as you can with dad and tell him anything you want to say If it’s a little help I really didn’t want to leave my kids just yet and I’m sure your dad feels that too Life does deal some hard blows Stay strong this forum has helped me no end Even writing down helps I’m always at the end of a PM for all of you if you want to ask any questions or just to know someone is there
from my post that you are referring too This poor soul would have had many issues long before a debt arrived and it's sad so many of our youth seem to be struggling with this Perhaps we have different opinions what empathy is, but it's clear I had shown empathy. If you want to argue with me, then I do not feel this is the right thread to do it so will not respond to anymore of your click bait in this thread, it's not appropriate.
I think someone earlier in this thread said that taking his own life didn’t necessarily mean he was mentally ill, I’d like to respectfully disagree with that and suggest that it guarantees he was mentally ill, anyone who does feel that they are suffering “low mood” or depression should go immediately to their doctor, discuss with close ones by all means but most importantly seek medical help as soon as possible, depression if I remember correctly is the result of low levels of seratonin in the brain, this is a physical reality and needs to be sorted, mild anti depressants decrease the reabsorbtion of seratonin naturally produced in the brain, thus levels return to the correct level, the medication only needs to be taken for a few weeks in most cases, that combined with talking therapy and physical exercise worked for me a few years back, physical exercise was the surprising one for me, evidently it releases endorphins which improve ones feeling of wellbeing, next time your feeling low go for a run or exertive push bike ride or swim, anything that is exertive, you’ll be surprised how much better you feel afterwards!.
Well said Mark9.The only thing I can add is that apart from family support one needs the help of friends.I found when I became less than able that my friends disappeared quite rapidly.I didn't bore them with my problems but engaged with them on our favourite topics.My feeling is that because they were doing things that I couldn't they were perhaps uneasy about telling me their stories.I think also some were afraid to face up to what life can bring to you unexpectedly. One of the best things I have on this forum is another member who I meet with perhaps twice a year for a coffee and a good chat.He makes no demands,checks frequently that I am okay,and very importantly is understanding if I have to cry off meeting due to me throwing a wobbly.
I agree with you so much merv This forum plus the few they know who they are, have been there day and night through ups and downs and listened and made me laugh even when I was crying they have never judged me and I’m eternally grateful for to you all I’m not sure where I would be without this forum probably some dodgy dating site Seriously mental health needs to be at the top of the list especially as the www has bought us all together but so many feel more alone than ever
It was me who said that. Clinical depression is a specific neuro-chemical condition which can be treated with medication but it doesn't follow that everyone who commits suicide is suffering from depression or that their decision to end their lives is a defacto indicator of mental illness. In most cases it probably is but we shouldn't lazily assume that they were just ill and this could have been prevented with some pills. Unhappiness and more particularly, desperation, may be present in cases of depression but they are not in themselves medical or psychological conditions. They are natural emotional responses to social and situational states of which medication may numb the symptoms but cannot treat the cause, which is that the sufferer has somehow got themselves into a situation or way of life which for them is unendurable and and therefore unsustainable and will destroy them. That is precisely what these feelings are for. They are alerts. They maybe symptoms of illness but equally, they may be warnings. If you put your hand in a flame and it hurts, it doesn't mean there is something wrong with your nervous system, it means you are doing something that is causing you pain and you need to stop doing it. When your oil warning light comes on in the car, you don't blot it out with a piece of tape and drive on. You pull over and stop. Yes, you top up the oil but if you are wise you also investigate why it came on in the first place. Is there a mechanical problem which causes excessive oil consumption and which can be fixed, or is this a car which has a tendency to use oil and you have simply neglected it? If the latter and there is no mechanical fix for the issue, then it will continue to happen with each time a little more damage being done unless you change the way you drive and maintain your car. As with engines, so with lives. Depression is an overused catch-all term which is often applied in the wrong situations. The engines of our lives, our minds and spirits, do not all perform in precisely the same way. They are as varied as we are. Yes, they can suffer faults which require correct diagnosis and remedial treatment but they can also be destroyed by neglect and ignorant misuse. Understanding the difference is vital or you will spend you life damaging yourself and blanking out warnings when with a change of approach you could have been enjoying the ride.
