Top tips!

pics please

 

use red rawl plugs instead of brown.. That way if the drill bit snaps and goes through ya finger its only a 5.5 mm hole not 7

 

another top tip is learn how to use ya lap top

 

That'd be a tip top lap top tip

 

you can replicate the sound of hitting two coconuts together by riding a horse along a cobbled road

 

in a similar vein, if you stand by the seashore, it sounds just like putting a big shell to your ear

 

That's why they are called apple catchers.

 

Tip top Tiptons top tips for tourism.

 

always keep a picture of your wife and kids in your wallet.

that way you'll never forget why there's no money in it

 

if you drive one of those old pre-airbag cars, always keep a large foam cushion on the passenger seat so you can quickly put it in front of your face a split second before an accident.

 

also they will match the colour of the blood already in the hole(s) so no repainting needed later

 

the rate of teenage pregnancies falls dramatically after a woman reaches 25

 

if you don't have a university degree, make sure you get a photo taken of you wearing the cap and gown graduates wear

that way, when you die, your obituary pic will make you look better

 

you can avoid being unsuspectingly filmed by television news reporters if you wear a tee shirt with

"All Newsreaders are prize Cu*ts" emblazoned in big letters on the front

 

Heres three good tips...

Recycling Centres | Bathnes



Especially midsomer norton, good place to dispose of the bodies after a midsomer murder...

 

BOIL an egg to perfection without costly egg timers by popping it into boiling water and driving away from your home at exactly 60mph. After three miles, phone your wife to take the egg out the pan.

 

Never let your horse inhale too many helium balloons.