You Know You’re Getting Old When:

{rant} When for most of one's life, one has had the benefit of freedom of speech, freedom of expression, freedom of religon, freedom from censorship, freedom to make my own choices, in fact just free! Now one is nannied by the state, the states agents and every other motherfucking p.c. loving liberals that get self gratification from fucking up the lives of normal mature upstanding human beings, who have survived for 60 years without their cunting interference!!!! {/rant}

 

... when you make a groan like noise when you get up off of the settee; when you sit down on the settee; when you reach for something; when you get into and out of the car; when you heave your bike onto the centre stand; when you pick up your bike off of the sidestand, in fact whenever exertion is imminent.

 

Reach the top of the stairs and think what am I doing here? , realise when you hear the other passengers shouting are you getting on this plane or what?
Some people lead long and happy lives. My grandad died at 93 on a Sunday morning making love to my Gran. Needed the church bells to give him a rhythm. Still be alive now if the fire brigade hadn't gone past.
Age gives you the ability to laugh at life if you don't mind a bit of wee in your pants.

 

You remember when there was funny original comedy; people now take offence and want it all banned or self censored

 

When you reply to a thread ‘cos it’s in recent posts, only to find it’s there because someone has put all the threads of the same name together to; a) prove a point or b) to be really helpful.

 

When all the gags about old people following through when they let one rip come home to roost ... and you have to keep a very careful watch over every fart you let through to make sure it is only air that comes out.

 

I know it well, that's the first stage.. the second stage is when the groan is accompanied by another sound, it's in unison, sometimes at a lower pitch, and at first you don't know where it's coming from. I also know this second stage well, but it's yet to arrive on my own doorstep.